I published a blog post on October 14th called: How to Tell Someone You Don’t Trust Them. The post presented ideas for reducing the potential of and responding to trust violations in the work place. The core message is to minimize the degree of trust to just what is required of the work relationship, clearly communicate your expectations, to deal with significant violations by removing yourself or the other person from the situation depending on your role, and to deal with lesser transgressions using a communications construct I introduced.
The article was largely well received and some of our readers added even more value by sharing their views. What surprised me was the number of negative responses I received via Twitter. The majority of the negative comments I received included one of the following statements:
- There is no reason for further communication
- There is no acceptance of any trust violation
- All trust violations should result in termination
My concern with these assertions is that the authors did not seem to differentiate between major trust violations and minor transgressions. As an example, I trust my boss to respect me as a human being. If he then repeatedly introduces me in social situations as someone who works for him, I feel that he does not respect me as an equal, but instead views me as a subordinate even outside of work. This is a trust violation from my perspective, but it is not one that would cause me to quit nor would I expect him to be terminated because of this social faux pas.
I do believe, however, that if communicated in a respectful way that I could allow my boss to know how I feel about his behavior and allow him to modify so that we are both able to enjoy the benefits of an extended relationship.
If you haven’t yet, please stop by our blog, read the post, and then let us know what you think by commenting on this article.
Gordon R. Clogston
