Leadership Courseware Blog

Today is my birthday and I am celebrating the anniversary of my birth by writing on a more personal level. I hope you will forgive me my indulgences as I whine about a few things that are bothering me recently. I have come to realize that some of life’s little annoyances have a way of aggregating and amplifying to the point that they are no longer little annoyances anymore, but instead are a growing, roiling mass of irritation that requires a response. Perhaps it is an age thing, or maybe it is simply because I spend a lot of time on the computer every day which makes me vulnerable to all the spammers, scam artists, and other intruders who use every opportunity to encroach on my time, interrupt my thoughts, and crank up my irritability.

I am not ready to join the “prunes for breakfast brigade,” but I do seem to have less patience these days and I have just about reached my level of tolerance for several groups who are vying to become THE bane of my existence.

The Spammers

First are those individuals whose unyielding hope is that if they annoy me sufficiently with all their sneaky ways of getting past my junk mail filters that I will suffer a bout of dementia, forget who I am, and purchase whatever inane thing it is they’re advertising. And while it is extremely tempting to enter into a business arrangement with a complete stranger, help them to transfer hundreds of millions of their dollars out of some foreign country, and make millions of dollars for my minimal effort, I will fight off this burning desire for instant wealth and continue to make my way in legitimate business ventures.

While I appreciate that these emails are intended to make me feel like I’m the first in line to buy ‘quality’ watches, get an online diploma, cleanse my colon, whiten my teeth, or instantly build my wealth, they do not entice me to buy anything.

So until or unless I forget who I am, I futilely scream to the heavens, “STOP! I don’t want your products, I don’t want your intrusions, and I don’t want your junk mail clogging up my inbox.” THANK YOU.

The Destroyers

And then there are those individuals whose prime directive is to prove that they can take control of my computer, steal my data, destroy my work, and disable my system. They suck up my time and money and force me to spend inordinate amounts of both purchasing and maintaining firewalls, spam filters, and other anti-virus controls. I don’t even want to think about the time lost while all these tools are downloading updated files, scanning the data on my system, and searching for all the hidden files that may have sneaked onto my system while I was typing this article.

And how does my computer run with all this extra protection installed on it?  Just fine, thank you. I love that my new system can re-create the performance of a circa-1984 computer. I would have paid more for this feature had I only known. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

The Ambushers

And since I am on a roll, how about those pop ups with live chat windows that won’t let you leave their site until you click on at least 200 confirmations that you really do want to leave? There may be someone out there who thinks that these pop ups are curious novelties and who may change their mind and buy something when bombarded with all these excessive confirmations of their intentions. BUT, I found your site without your help. I believe I am smart enough to know when I want to leave. And, if I want to chat with you, I’ll give you a call. Until then, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

The Pushers

And let’s not forget about those helpful marketing types who think that just because you ordered your blood pressure medications online that you should now be bombarded with pop ups, chat windows, and emails about other medications that you might need, the champion among them being Viagra. I have high blood pressure, you moronic imbeciles, and that is all. If I need something else, I WILL LET YOU KNOW!!!

The Pretenders

There are a couple more that have gotten under my skin recently and they should not go without recognition. I think it is unethical and should be illegal for spammers to alter their return email address so that they can send an email to some unsuspecting soul pretending that it is from someone or some business that the recipient trusts. IT IS NOT COOL FOR the US Postal Service, FedEx, or MY MOTHER TO OFFER ME THE MASSAGE OF MY LIFE!!! I would bet that they would be offended by the use of their good names were they to know.

I would be curious to know if anyone actually succumbs to these ridiculous schemes.

The “Click Here To Remove” Tricksters

And you have to love the emails that have the nice little link that says, “If you do not want to receive emails from us in future, please click here.” Sure, try it. Some are legitimate, but others use that click through to tell them that a  real person received their email and suddenly, your entire screen is filled with a stream of unwanted interruptions that, if you’re lucky, will terminate after a couple million images have downloaded. Or maybe they will be more subtle and just add your email address as validated to every email marketing entity out there. WON’T THAT BE FUN?!?

Okay, I’m done and feeling much better now. Though there are lots of other things I could rant about, I really don’t want to get a reputation as a complainer. But sometimes I just gotta say what I gotta say. I was going to email this to everyone in my address book, but then I remembered that most of my friends and associates are filtering my emails into their junk mail folders because of the fabulous offers they received from me recently. So I decided to post it here instead.

On a More Serious Note

If anything in this article made you smile, then I have accomplished my goal.  I do wonder how many millions of dollars are spent by companies and individuals around the world combating this insanity. Can it ever be stopped?

If you liked this article, please share it with others. I appreciate your stopping by and lending me your attention. I hope you are enjoying a care-free day.

Tags: humor, junk mail, phishing, scammers, spammers, spamming